Well I was chasing down flies and shooting up women
Trying to get the whole thing straight in my head
Lookin for a girl who’d come with me swimming
And come and play tunes at the end of my bed
And all the hardmen were drinkin down petrol
Bamming up the girls when in came the law
Heading for the door and getting tongue tied
When they asked me what exactly I saw
Chorus:
So I’ll get some Monte Christo’s
And we can all go see the band
Well I may not be a looker yeah
But I’ll help you any way I can
Back at my room I was making me nervous
Watching TV and picking my feet
Wishing I was pretty and burning my shoes
And wishing for once I’d kept the receipt
I called myself and wondered out loud
Tried to get the whole thing straight in my head
I left the tape running and played it back
Twice but I couldn’t make sense of what I had said
Chorus
Bridge:
Well it may not make you handsome
And it may not even make you feel aliiiiiiive
You may not have the ransom
But you can always count on this
It’s him and them and she and me
And sick and muddy, everybody
Alt Chorus:
So you can bring y
124a
our wasters banjo
Bring yer sister and her friend Diane
Well I may not have a big boys pistol
But I’ll help them any way I can
Alt Chorus 2:
And you can call me Cinderella!
You can make me your best man
Well you may be a right old queen
But I’ll help you any way I can
Whistle for the boys now don’t be shy
Give us all a song and a reason why
Baby got the bones and a hand me down
Says her heart is black but her eyes are brown
Give the boys a flash and they’ll love you so
Give the girl some cash cause your mother said so
And take em out to look at the queen
And any old girl who’s in between
Lay yourself down by the side of the bed
Oh you naughty girl you know you tickle me red
You look so dumb and you sound so twee
And you can only wish that you was married to me
Well, that’s what you get
Oh don’t get upset
Ridiculous you
Waiting in the queue oh whoopee doo
You could have been
The best that I’ve seen
Under the red light
Everybody knows you cried last night
Give us all a go till your face turns red
Little Greg said you went home instead
If you stick around you’ll get an alibi
And we’ll try and keep your pretty face bone dry
Rent a honey rent a honey one two three
Chasing all the boys from your door cant be easy
Well ruby said you was wrecked
But your was never well behaved the last time I checked
Lay yourself down by the side of the bed
Oh you naughty girl you know you tickle me red
You look so dumb and you sound so twee
And you can only wish that you was married to me
Well that’s what you get
Oh don’t get upset
Ridiculous you
Waiting in the queue oh whoopee doo
You could have been
The best that I’ve seen
Under the red light every body knows you cried last night
Lay yourself down by the side of the bed
Oh you naughty girl you know you tickle me red
You look so dumb and you sound so twee
You can only wish that you were married to me
Well that’s what you get
Oh don’t get upset
Ridiculous you
Waiting in the queue oh whoopee doo
You could have been
The best that I’ve seen
Under the red light
Everybody knows you cried last night
Everybody knows you cried last night
Well you must be a girl with shoes like that
She said you know me well
I seen you and little Steven and Joanna
Round the back of my hotel oh yeah
Someone said you was asking after me
But I know you best as a blagger
I said tell me your name is it sweet?
She said my boy it’s Dagger oh yeah
I was good she was hot
Stealin' everything she got
I was bold she was over the worst of it
Gave me gear thank you dear bring yer sister over here
Let her dance with me just for the hell of it
Well you must be a boy with bones like that
She said you got me wrong
I would’ve sold them to you
If I could’ve just have kept the last of my clothes on oh yeah
Call me up take me down with you
When you go I could be your regular belle
And I’ll dance for little Steven and Joanna
Round the back of my hotel oh yeah
I was good she was hot
Stealin' everything she got
I was bold she was over the worst of it
Gave me gear thank you dear bring yer sister over here
Let her dance with me just for the hell of it
Chelsea Chelsea I believe when you’re dancing
Slowly sucking your sleeve
The boys get lonely after you leave
It’s one for the Dagger and another for the one you believe
Chelsea I believe when you’re dancing
Slowly sucking your sleeve
The boys get lonely after you leave
It’s one for the Dagger, another for the one you believe
Well let me tell you something
Let me tell you so
This could be the one thing
That you really need to know
You gotta stop once in a while
And shake off that face of yours
Cause nothing comes easy
Oh it just comes free
You could sing it better
If you sing for me, oh sister
Well I cannot claim
This advice as my own
I learnt it in the gutter
One night crawling home
She said don't you look rediculous
I checked her out meticulously
And I would've stopped to argue
But my teeth were broke
I said I'd love to condradict you
But my life's a joke, oh sister
And she said I'm no genius and I've lost myself
The books are on the table, and the secret's on the shelf
And it's a one time, keep it slow
Wind 'em up and here we go
Get it right today
And you may still be here tomorrow
Some said she was saintly
Some she was a swinger
Me, I only knew her as the Acid Jazz Singer, come on
Well I'm a lucky man
But maybe so is she
And maybe this is just the way it has to be
It's all based on speculation
It's a crazy my occupation to me
And though I didn't much believe her
I was bound to call
I really didn't wanna miss a single thing at all
Oh sister
And she said I'm no genius and I've lost myself
The books are on the table, and the secret's on the shelf
And it's a one time, keep it slow
Wind 'em up and here we go
Get it right today
And you may still be here tomorrow
Some said she was saintly
Some she was a swinger
Me, I only knew her as the Acid Jazz Singer, come on
And she said I'm no genius and I've lost myself
The books are on the table, and the secret's on the shelf
And it's a one time, keep it slow
Wind 'em up and here we go
Get a ride today
And you may be here tomorrow
Some said she was saintly
Some she was a swinger
Me, I only knew her as the Acid Jazz Singer, come on
I haven't seen her lately
Well, I'll have to ring her
Put your hands together for the Acid Jazz Singer, come on
Well look out Sunshine here they go You’ve got yesterday’s heroes in last nights clothes
You’re a game old boy judging by the way you walk
Well there’s no use telling me to leave
I’ve seen a half a dozen ghosts but I don’t believe
I’m a cynical cunt and I’m much too lazy to change
And tell my friends I’ll be around
Getting nowhere sleeping somewhere
With a girl I dreamed oh yeah
And sing that old song how does it go?
Look oyt Sunshine here’s the punch line
No one gets you any more
Well look out Sunshine here they come
But they only play for money you better not run
It’s the sell out show that no one wants to go to, yeah
Well there’s non so blind as them that don’t agree
They steal the money from you’re pockets almost viciously
You’re a sane old boy and you’re much to crazy to change
And tell my friends I’ll be around
Getting nowhere sleeping somewhere
With a girl I dreamed oh yeah
And sing that old song how does it go?
Look oyt Sunshine here’s the punch line
No one gets you any more
And what do you mean you were born to love this scene
And they would string you up gladly
If they knew just how lazy you’d been
Tell my friends I’ll be around???
And tell my friends I’ll be around
Getting nowhere sleeping somewhere
With a girl I dreamed oh yeah
And sing that old song how does it go?
Look oyt Sunshine here’s the punch line
No one gets you any, no one needs you any
No one geys you any more
